My Friend of the Same Gender Has Feelings for Me

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari

Question: Assalaam alaikum,

I’m a practicing Muslimah, and I have a friend, a practicing Muslimah, who seems to be in love with me. What can I do about this?

Answer: In the Name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful

Dear Sister,

Assalamu alaikum.

Thank you for your question.

Sadly, Satan–and we seek refuge in God from his deception– finds entryways through whispers into our hearts and minds. As God reminds us in the Qur’an, Satan has vowed to mislead men and women and his efforts are doubly focused on those who have some awareness of their deen.

My advice is to urge your friend to seek counseling from a pious, traditional scholar of Islam and find balance in her life. It is best to limit contact while she works through these issues. This is a test of your friendship and if you value your relationship, you will remind her of what is most pleasing to God. You should also make the supplication: “O God, o controller of hearts and eyes, make my heart firm upon your religion” and encourage her to do the same.

Finally, it is worth mentioning to your friend that she take a close look at her relationships with her family members. If there are trust issues or emotional voids, these need to be worked on because they can go a long way in helping her understand what she is going through and providing the validation she seems to be seeking.

May God make things easy,

Zaynab