Is My Fiance Responsible for Breaking our Engagment?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My family’s friend asked for my hand and promised to come to Pakistan from the USA. In Asian families, a man’s word means a lot. Everything was decided and we were preparing for the wedding. They bought the tickets and confirmed to us that they were coming. We made announcements on our side. But they declined at the last moment. Now they say they are not responsible for anything. Aren’t they sinful for breaking such a promise and breaking me emotionally?

Answer

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am so sorry that your fiance broke off the engagement and is not being apologetic about it.

Responsibility

The reality is that he may have had cold feet, and decided that he couldn’t go through with it, but unfortunately, he does not owe you anything other than an apology. Hopefully, his family has already apologized. Nothing feels more disastrous than something like this and I pray that you move forward, even stronger and more confident than before. If they don’t offer an explanation, don’t insist on one. They may be hiding something or maybe their reason will hurt you more. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you. Start moving forward to a brighter future.

Moving forward

Try the following steps to move forward:

-Delete his phone number and unfollow him on social media.

-Spend time with positive friends and family

-Exercise and eat healthily

-Spend your free time in worship, reading Qur’an with the meaning, and study your religion

-Continue to prepare yourself for marriage by picking up beneficial skills and taking a course on marriage

-In the future, I recommend that you spend a bit more time with your suitor, supervised of course.

See these for more tips:

Finding Allah with the Broken Hearted 

My Fiancée Broke off Our Engagement. What Do I Do to Move On?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad  

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.