Husband Asking About My Past.

Answered by Shaykh Farid Dingle

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I have recently gotten married to a wonderful man. The only thing that has been bothering me is that he asks me questions of my past. A few years ago I used to smoke marijuana to help with my depression. I have since quit and it’s not something I’m proud of… My husband keeps asking me of whether or not I have smoked before.

What should I do?

Answer: Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

Married couples should not pry into each others’ past. This is particularly the case about previous relationships, be they halal or haram.

Just answer in an all-but direct why, like, ‘No way, I never touch the stuff,’ meaning that you never actually touch the plant, or never touched the marijuana itself.

Please see this answer.

When he is not asking about that, just make a clear point to him that if he shouldn’t actually anyone about haram things, and he should give someone space when they give some resistance.

I pray this helps.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Farid Dingle

Shaykh Farid Dingle grew up in a convert family in Herefordshire, UK. In 2007, he moved to Jordan to pursue traditional studies. Shaykh Farid continues to live in Amman, Jordan with his wife and kids. In addition to continuing his studies he teaches Arabic and several of the Islamic sciences.

Shaykh Farid began his journey in sacred knowledge with intensives in the UK and Jordan (2004) in Shafi’i fiqh and Arabic. After years of studying Arabic grammar, Shafi’i fiqh, hadith, legal methodology (usul al-fiqh) and tafsir, Sh. Farid began specializing in Arabic language and literature. Sh. Farid studied Pre-Islamic poetry, Umayyad, Abbasid, Fatimid, and Andalusian literature. He holds a BA in Arabic Language and Literature and continues exploring the language of the Islamic tradition.

In addition to his interest in the Arabic language Shaykh Farid actively researches matters related to jurisprudence (fiqh) which he studied with Shaykh Hamza Karamali, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and continues with Shaykh Amjad Rasheed.