How Do I Deal with My Sexual Urges Since I Will Never Marry? – Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am an 18-year-old boy who doesn’t want to ever get married. I have a very high libido that has made me turn to masturbation but I’m trying my best to leave that habit. The reasons I don’t want to marry are too detailed and complex to write here (not health issues or anything like that, just personal reasons). I want to lead a life of celibacy but I’m facing issues due to my intense libido which keeps frustrating me every day. How do I lead a happy life without marriage and sex? How do I manage my sexual urges knowing I’ll never have sex?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for wanting to do what is right and stay within Allah’s limits.
Celibacy
Choosing a life of celibacy will be very difficult, and I can give you better advice if you elaborate on your reason for not wanting to marry. If you really will not, or cannot marry, then I urge you to fast often, perhaps every other day like the Prophet Dawud. And you must eliminate the habit of masturbation because it increases desire, it does not decrease it. You will need to have patience, and maybe eat libido-lowering foods, like vegetarian food, and exercise or get massages to relieve stress.
You are very young still, and I encourage you to reconsider your decision to never marry. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Marriage is my sunna, and whoever does not follow my sunna has nothing to do with me.” [Ibn Maja]
Please see these links as well:
Is There an Extra Reward for Someone Who Never Marries?
Is it Permissible To Choose To Stay Single?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
