How Can I Be More Forgiving?
Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari
Question: I always have a hard time forgiving people. I know that should not be the case, since to err is human. Could you please advice me on what I can do to make my heart softer, more forgiving towards others?
Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful
Dear Sister,
Thank you for your question. I pray this message finds you well.
We can remind ourselves of the importance of forgiveness, noting how often Allah describes Himself as forgiving every time we read the Qu’ran. We also can note how mercy and overlooking people’s faults was a Prophetic characteristic: “It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them. Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah’s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).” (3:159)
Practically speaking, one learns to tame one’s inclination toward anger and impatience through engaging in a regular program of dhikr and spiritual lessons with a shaykh of tasawwuf (the Islamic science of purifiying from the diseases of the heart). Dhikr helps to calm one down so that the annoyances of others become less important.
Remember: If we want Allah to forgive us, we have to be willing to forgive others.
May Allah reward you,
Zaynab Ansari
Related Courses:
Principles of Islamic Spirituality
Spiritual Letters: Practical Guidance from Imam Ahmad Sirhindi
Purification of the Heart & Praiseworthy Character (from Ghazali’s 40 Foundations of Religion)
Seeking Allah: Imam Muhasibi’s Treatise of the Seekers of Guidance Explained
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