Do I Have to Cover in Front of My Friend Who Has Come Out?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question

I have a friend who recently told me she is gay in secret but of course she wants to stay a good Muslim and doesn’t intend to act upon it. Based on this, am I still allowed to hug her and show her my hair and stuff or do I start treating her like any other man?

Answer

I pray you are well.

Yes, you are still allowed to hug her and show her your hair. Her having such inclinations does not mean that you need to treat her any differently. Reciprocating a sexual or intimate advance would be impermissible, but all other rulings of same-gender interaction and ‘awra would remain the same.

Support Your Friend

Allah encourages us to help each other do what is good and pleasing to Him: “Help each other do all forms of good and avoid [Allah’s] punishment (al birr wa al taqwa).” (Quran; 5:2) Intend to apply this verse and be supportive to your friend.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. She must have had some difficult experiences in the past which led her here. Her struggle is one many Muslims who are tested with a similar situation have to go through.

Modern LGBQT movements pressure people into acting according to these inclinations, even if they themselves do not want to form whatever reason. Many, like your friend, see it as a test and with to remain without the confines of the Shari’a. This must be a very difficult trial for them. May Allah reward her and grant her strength.

Be there for your friend. Support her. Help her. Encourage her. Your presence could make a huge difference. Don’t treat her any differently. Opening up to you must have been difficult, so she must trust you. Build on that.

There is an excellent podcast which covers this topic, but from the male perspective. I highly recommend it. It will give you and your friend an insight into the situation.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History, he moved to Damascus in 2007, where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital. He was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.