I Converted to Islam but My In-Laws Do Not Accept Me. What Do I Do?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Assalam aleykum,
I was Hindu but converted to Islam and got married to my husband. His family does not accept me. Please, how do I have a successful love marriage?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Please forgive me for the delay.
Marriage Contract
Dear sister, you are in a very difficult situation. I am sorry that both your parents and your husband’s parents are not accepting of your marriage.
The rules of Islam are are clear on the validity of the marriage contract. For as long as you are both Muslim, then your nikah is valid.
Convert
Dear sister, rest assured that your past sins were forgiven the moment you embraced Islam. Because of the stress of what you are going through, I encourage you to look after yourself and your marriage.
Make good on your Islam. Continue to perform your obligatory acts such as prayer, fasting in Ramadan, paying zakat, and so on. Observe your hijab as best you can. Spend time make sincere dua to Allah. Please perform the Prayer of Need and ask Allah to help you through this.
I am sorry that you are struggling. Aside from your husband, do you have any Muslim friends who can support you?
Acceptance
Please accept that for the near future at least, your in-laws will remain unhappy with you. You cannot control what they do or say. All you can focus on is yourself and your marriage.
Please know that you can seek help with a culturally-sensitive counsellor – none of us were meant to go through this world alone.
Marriage
I encourage you to enrol in Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages and listen to Getting Married with Ustadha Shireen Ahmed and Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.
Do everything in your power to nourish your marriage. Marriage, even in the best of circumstances, is hard work. When you and your husband are a solid team, then you’ll be better able to handle your difficulties. Go on holidays together, create positive memories together, and be each other’s staunchest supporters.
Seriously. What’s the Point of Marriage?
Managing vs. Resolving Conflict in Relationships: The Blueprints for Success
How to Make Repair Attempts So Your Partner Feels Loved
Please see:
Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered
A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.
