Can I Pray That My Ex-boyfriend Becomes More Religious?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I was in a haram relationship with the boy before, and we broke up knowing the differences we had in terms of religion. I was practicing, and he was not. Can I pray for him to become more religious so we can have a future?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for practicing, but I urge you to practice Islam more to the point where you don’t have illicit relationships. You can definitely pray for him to become more religious, but submit the matter to Allah with a content and repentant heart.

Choice

Although you love this man, are you certain that he is the right man for you? Is it your emotions speaking, or have you picked this person according to the prophetic advice, which applies to both genders? The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!” [Bukhari & Muslim]

Istikhara

If you have already left him, could Allah be protecting you from making a mistake? Try to be objective and see whether it is worth praying for this. If your istikhara is positive, you have a reason to supplicate for him to be your spouse. Supplication can change the outcomes of these things. You should start with repentance for having been with him and devote yourself to learning Islam and applying it in your life. Pray on time, cover correctly, and keep away from the haram of everyday life. In the meantime, prepare yourself by taking a course on marriage because you mustn’t enter into it blindly, no matter who you end up with.

The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better.” [Musnad of Ahmad]

Please see the links below for details and for dua that you can recite:

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani