What Should a Girl Do If She Can’t Fight Her Urge to Be a Boy?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
A girl has been behaving like a boy naturally all her life, and she has a strong fear of Allah and a desire to live according to Islam. She tried to correct herself and did everything that girls do, but it didn’t make any difference, and she is still attracted to girls. All of this is natural for her.
She has now decided to seek medical help and undergo hormone therapy as doctors recommended because she is not getting better despite waiting and trying. She has a strong hatred for LGBTQ. She says she wants to become a boy. She is so depressed. She says she always feels that her physical appearance is more shaped like a man’s. Please guide.
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for seeking out what pleases Him and for fighting your instincts to act on your desires.
Hormone Therapy
It is not clear to me what hormone therapy you have decided on and why. Is this hormone replacement therapy to reconnect with your femininity? I don’t know how this works, but I pray that you are successful and find that your difficult feelings and desires disappear. I don’t know much about the consequences of taking hormones, but you should continue to consult medical specialists and local scholars about the matter. Pray istikhara about these big health decisions.
Dua and Charity
I encourage you during this time to build a strong relationship with your Lord and ask Him to help you because He loves to be asked, and He loves to give. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “When half of the night or two-thirds of it is over, Allah, the Blessed and the Exalted, descends to the lowest heaven and says: Is there any beggar so that he be given? Is there any supplicator so that he be answered? Is there any beggar of forgiveness so that he be forgiven? (And Allah continues it saying) until it is daybreak” [Muslim]
Charity is one of the most beneficial ways to get rid of problems in your life. Give charity for the Prophet told us this, “Give charity without delay, for it stands in the way of calamity.” [Tirmidhi] I also encourage you to lower your gaze and avoid that which stimulates your lust toward the same gender.
A Way Out
Keep your hopes up and know that Allah’s promise is true in the Quran: “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Quran, 65:2-3]
Clarity
Pray on time, learn about the life of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), follow Islamic law, read the Quran daily, and ask Allah for clarity. In sha’ Allah, what you need to do will become clear. Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “O believers! If you are mindful of Allah, He will grant you a standard (to distinguish between right and wrong), absolve you of your sins, and forgive you. And Allah is the Lord of infinite bounty.” [Quran, 8:29]
Please see these links as well:
- How Do I Address My Homosexual Feelings?
- Should I Marry despite My Homosexual Feelings, or Should I Abstain?
- What Should I Say to My 13-Year-Old Who Has Same-Gender Interest?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
