What Is the Difference between Showing Modesty and Humiliating Yourself?

Answered by Ustadh Farid Dingle

Question

Are humans honoured in Allah’s eyes or are they disdained? What is the difference between showing modesty and humiliating yourself?

Answer

Thank you for your important question.

Allah Most High has created us from lowly nothingness, and honoured us with free will and the ability to win unto His good pleasure.

It is of modesty to see oneself as lowly, incapabable and undeserving of Allah blessings, but not to take away those blessings by embarrassing oneself, or not trying one’s utmost to obey His commands..

Fuller answer:

The lowly slave

In countless verses of the Qur’an and hadiths we learn that we are to observe humility. Luqman the Wise (Allah be well pleased with him) told his son, ‘And do not walk upon the earth exultantly. Indeed, you will never tear the earth [apart], and you will never be as tall as the mountains.’ (Qur’an, 17: 37).

Allah Most High reminds us that we are created from nothing so we should not be proud and reject His signs saying, ‘Does man not consider that We created him from a [mere] sperm-drop? And then all of a sudden he is a clear adversary!’ (Qur’an, 36: 77)

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, ‘O people, Allah has done away with the family pride and boasting of the pre-Islamic era. People are but two: one who is pious, fears Allah and therefore cherished in Allah’s eyes, and one who is licentious, wretched and therefore worthless in Allah’s eyes. All people are but the offspring of Adam and Adam is from earth.’ (Tirmidhi)

So we have to know that we low in our innate state, and this means that we don’t see ourselves above others, don’t wrong others, don’t object to Allah’s commands,  don’t offence to ourselves so seriously, and carry the air of deserving something from Allah or anyone else. In short, act as slaves.

The Prince of Existence

By lowering ourselves before Allah, we become the best all things in creation. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘Whoever lowers himself to Allah, Allah raises him.’ (Muslim)

This is exactly what the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) did: he humbled himself to Allah and accepted the rough and the smooth that Allah sent his way.

At arguably the hardest time of his life, he perfected his slavehood to Allah, and Allah took him on the Night Journey (Isra). Allah Most High said, ‘Glorified beyond description is He who took His slave by night from the Sacred Mosque to the Farthest Mosque whose surroundings We have blessed, to show him of Our signs.’ (Qur’an 17: 1)

By realising his nothingness before Allah’s “everythingness”, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) he became a true slave of Allah, and reached the apex of the created universe.

Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) also said, ‘I am greatest of all humanity (waladi Adam) on the Day of Rising.’ (Muslim)

Commensurate with how much we follow him inwardly and outwardly, we also attain to this greatest. Allah Most High says, ‘The glory is only Allah’s, His messenger’s and the believers’.’ (Qur’an, 63: 8)

Showing humility

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘Allah has indeed inspired to be that you should all show humility before one another such that none of you boast over another, and no one wrongs another.’ (Muslim)

Ibn Umar (Allah be well pleased with him) said, ‘To fear Allah means that you not consider yourself above anyone else.’ (Tafsir al Baghawi)

Knowing and realising that every blessing that we enjoy is only from Allah, and that we do not deserve any of it, should inspire humility in us.

Self respect

Even though we see ourselves as nothing, we stick appreciate and defend the greatness that Allah has given us as human beings and as believers. Humility does not mean that we do have self respect and around acting like a fool.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘If you don’t have any self respect, go ahead and do whatever you want.’ (Bukhari) This hadith means that not having self-respect is a bad thing, and that people who act like fools are not show due gratitude for the blessings that Allah has given them. It is like something ripping their clothes or throwing their food in the bin.

When the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) made prostration in the mud, he was not trying to act like a fool, rather he was humbling himself before Allah. (Bukhari)

The believer does not have self esteem, he has esteem of Allah. He knows that he cannot achieve anything by Himself, and turns to Allah for help in everything. By turning to the Most Powerful, the believer is granted the power David before the Goliath of challenges that he faces on a daily basis.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), ‘Seek help from Allah, and do not proof incapable.’ (Muslim)

Conclusion

In order to attain the greatest that Allah has offered to us, we must lower ourselves to Him. To be great and powerful, we must acknowledge our complete inability, and get all our strength and stamina from Allah. Lowering oneself to Allah, does not mean that one should throw off all shave and abandon due decorum and manners.

I pray this helps.

[Ustadh] Farid
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadh Farid Dingle has completed extensive years of study in the sciences of the Arabic language and the various Islamic Sciences. During his studies, he also earned a CIFE Certificate in Islamic Finance. Over the years, he has developed a masterful ability to craft lessons that help non-Arabic speakers gain a deep understanding of the language. He currently teaches courses in the Arabic Language.