Is It Sinful to Tell Christian Man That I Love Him?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Recently, I met someone who is non-Muslim. This man is quite attractive and I like him. Can I confess to him that I like him? I don’t talk to him and I keep a physical distance always. Am I sinful that I like a non-Muslim man? Do you think it’s a test from Allah? I always feel like Allah will forgive me if I love this Christian man. I had these feelings that Allah would not hold me accountable for loving him. Allah chose this man for me.
Is there any way to make him become Muslim? Or maybe Allah wants him to become Muslim? Am I sinful for loving a Christian? Is it okay if I confess to my feelings toward this man?
Answer
Thank you for your question. You are not sinful for falling in love with a man that you don’t speak to, but you would be sinful for telling him that you love him, as marriage is not possible with a Christian man.
Islam
Having this man convert, and then finding a way to get married to him is possible, but difficult. Someone would have to introduce him to Islam, then it would be optimal for him to take a year as a Muslim to get used to it. Then you would have to speak to your family or a friend to approach him and consider marriage to you and convince your father to accept the proposal. Of course, once he converted, you would pray istikhara at the outset to ensure that Allah wants this for you.
You are probably thinking that the above steps can be expedited by expressing your feelings to him. That way, he would convert to your religion and possibly propose. Doing it this way would not be right coming directly from you. Perhaps if a friend of yours, or your friend’s husband spoke to him saying that he knows of a Muslim girl who would like to consider him for marriage if he became Muslim, it could work. Pray istikhara on this matter first, and don’t rush into anything without thinking it through. Make du`a for his Islam in any case, as we wish salvation for as many people as possible.
Test
I don’t know if this is a test but generally speaking, women and men are temptations/tests for each other. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“After me, I have not left any trial more severe to men than women.” [Bukhari]
Remember that if you leave something for the sake of Allah, you will still succeed, in sha Allah. Abu Qatada (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said,
“Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Most High but that Allah will replace it with something better for you.” [Ahmad]
Please see these links as well:
- I Am in Love With a Christian Man. What Should I Do?
- Marrying a Christian Man With Good Character
- Muslim Woman to Marry Christian Man
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
