How To Safeguard My Son From Bad Influences and Keep Him Focused on Islam?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My 18-year-old son first decided to stop praying because he didn’t agree with Islam anymore and didn’t believe the stories told in the Quran. He was aware that this makes one an apostate.
He would not change his mind, so we asked him not to tell his siblings and just to join us when we prayed together. He stopped agreeing to that too.
Soon after, I found out about his girlfriend and told him that we would never have anything to do with her and never want to know her. He has no moral problem with it as he feels he is not Muslim, but I wonder whether ignoring her existence is correct.
Should we get to know her? Will he find comfort with her family? Will she get pregnant? We believe Allah can and will guide him.
Answer
The best answer I can give you concerning your son’s religion is this answer by Ustadha Umm Umar:
How Should I Handle a Teenager Who Wants to Give up on Islam
Please see these links as well:
I Struggle With My Parents and Worried About My Parents Who Do Not Pray? What Do I Do?
My Teenager is Disrespectful and Has No Empathy. What Do I Do?
Here is a beautiful dua of a parent for you:
If I were in your shoes, I would meet this young girl so that you could tell her about Islam. If your son doesn’t listen to you, maybe she will become interested, and he will listen to her. Be very grateful that he is still respectful and listens to you when you talk. I can tell you have a good relationship with him, which is the key to all this. Keep your bond with him strong.
Fear not about your son’s religion. I am positive that he will come back to the deen. Allah may give him a big trial or painful test that will drag him back to the religion, or he will feel empty and shallow for so long that he will return to what he once knew. Perhaps, when he has his own children and must raise them, he will see Islam as the only thing to teach them.
Please see this article; it might help answer some of your son’s questions or address his issues.
Atheism and Islam
May Allah give you tawfiq and strengthen you through this.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
