How Can I Ask Forgiveness From Someone I Wronged?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I have behaved with manifest envy towards a sister who has done me no wrong. This was because of her pious husband, beauty, and lineage. I am desperate for her forgiveness, but I don’t know what to say exactly to her.
What would you advise? Also, I am a convert to Islam and feel so ashamed of where I come from, my past mistakes, and my ignorance. Ironically, my shame takes me to new lows, and I fail to appreciate how much Allah has blessed me with guidance. How can I break the cycle and accept my life story?
Answer
Envy is truly a horrible trait and can bring out the worst in a person, so I ask you to stop and look at the reality that Allah has given you Islam. Thus, you have everything you need.
Forgiveness
You should seek her forgiveness if you have hurt a friend, as it requires true repentance. I would advise you to apologize to her for the offensive thing you said, that you don’t know what came over you, and that you have nothing in your heart against her. To battle this envy, make du`a for her and pray that Allah increases her in all goodness.
Purification
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Wealth is in the heart, and poverty is in the heart. Whoever is wealthy in his heart will not be harmed no matter what happens in the world. Whoever is impoverished in his heart will not be satisfied no matter how much he has in the world. Verily, he will only be harmed by the greed of his own soul.” [Nasa’i; Ibn Maja]
Purifying the heart is the ultimate goal for Muslims so that we can worship Allah as though we see him. We must recognize feelings of envy and many other spiritual diseases, nip those feelings in the bud, and act against them immediately—those who don’t eventually grow old with ugly qualities that regularly rear their heads.
Please see these links as well:
What is Sincere Repentance?
Does One Have To Ask the Forgiveness of People He Has Wronged in the Distant Past?
What Are the Different Kinds of Envy?
How Do I Cure My Envy?
Day 11: Get Rid of Envy – 30 Deeds, 30 Days
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
