Can I Have a Nikah and Move In with My Wife Later?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I am a 21-year-old man who wants to get married to a 20-year-old girl. We are both currently studying and have no income at the moment.

Is it permissible to get married and live separately with our parents until we start to earn? Then in sha’ Allah, she will move in with my parents and me when I can at least pay for some things in the house and not just live with them for free.

Both our parents have known about us for the past three years, and her parents are happy with the above idea. I still need to speak to my parents, but I know they want me to be financially stable before considering marriage.

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for wanting to do what is halal and right, and may He pave the path of ease for you.

Nikah

I admire that you want to make the relationship halal, but I dislike the idea of having a nikah and then having years ahead of not living together. Please remember that your wife can become pregnant the moment you consummate the marriage, and it is not right for you to live separately from her without your support and care if that happens. Even if she doesn’t get pregnant, you cannot fulfill her rights while in a different home, nor can she fulfill yours.

Nikah without Consummation

In many Eastern cultures, a young couple does get a nikah, which they term an engagement, but both families understand that this is not so they can consummate the marriage, but rather visit each other freely and talk on the phone. They usually remain this way until the wedding, which isn’t customarily more than a year’s wait.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” [Ibn Majah]

Please see these links as well:
Having to Wait for Nikah
I Want to Marry Someone, but He Wants Me to Wait Three Years

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.