Is It Sinful to Distance Oneself from Family Conflicts?
Answered by Shaykh Anas al-Musa
Question
My family argues a lot, and I keep my distance without getting involved. Am I sinful for this?
Answer
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all worlds. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger sent as a mercy to the worlds, our Master and Prophet, Muhammad, and his Family and Companions.
Your question did not specify who you mean by “family,” but it appears you may be referring to close relatives such as siblings, uncles, and cousins.
The Importance of Reconciliation
Islam establishes relationships among Muslims on the basis of mutual connection, love, and sincere advice for the sake of Allah. Therefore, if you find yourself capable of intervening to reconcile quarreling relatives, it becomes obligatory for you to do so. Avoiding such intervention would be sinful, as animosity and discord among Muslims, especially relatives, threaten the fabric of society.
It is neither reasonable nor acceptable to remain a mere observer while your relatives quarrel. Allah (Most High) has commanded reconciliation among those who are in conflict, saying:
“So be mindful of Allah, settle your affairs.” [Quran, 8:1]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) also said:
“Shall I not inform you of something better in rank than prayer, fasting, and charity?” They replied, “Yes.” He said, “Reconciling relations, for discord between people is the shaver (it shaves away faith).” [Ahmad]
In this hadith, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) emphasizes the importance of reconciliation, warning that damaged relationships harm both one’s faith and worldly life.
Tact and Wisdom in Conflict Resolution
Reconciling between those in conflict requires tact and wisdom. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:
“The one who conveys good or speaks good to reconcile between people is not considered a liar.” [Bukhari]
However, if you feel that your involvement might escalate the conflict or that you lack the necessary skills to handle it wisely, it may be better to stay away to prevent the situation from worsening.
And Allah knows best.
May Allah bless the Prophet Muhammad and give him peace, and his Family and Companions.
[Shaykh] Anas al-Musa
Shaykh Anas al-Musa, born in Hama, Syria, in 1974, is an erudite scholar of notable repute. He graduated from the Engineering Institute in Damascus, where he specialized in General Construction, and Al-Azhar University, Faculty of Usul al-Din, where he specialized in Hadith.
He studied under prominent scholars in Damascus, including Shaykh Abdul Rahman al-Shaghouri and Shaykh Adib al-Kallas, among others. Shaykh Anas has memorized the Quran and is proficient in the ten Mutawatir recitations, having studied under Shaykh Bakri al-Tarabishi and Shaykh Mowfaq ‘Ayun. He also graduated from the Iraqi Hadith School.
He has taught numerous Islamic subjects at Shari‘a institutes in Syria and Turkey. Shaykh Anas has served as an Imam and preacher for over 15 years and is a teacher of the Quran in its various readings and narrations.
Currently, he works as a teacher at SeekersGuidance and is responsible for academic guidance there. He has completed his Master’s degree in Hadith and is now pursuing his Ph.D. in the same field. Shaykh Anas al-Musa is married and resides in Istanbul.
