How Should I Deal with My Father Who Dislikes My In-Laws for No Reason?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
How should I handle a father who dislikes his wife’s family without any clear reason?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I commend you for your patience and I urge you to continue on that path with gentleness and goodness toward him while being firm with him that he is wrong.
Patience
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” [Ibn Maja]
Parents are from different generations and sometimes come with cultural baggage or an outdated understanding of specific groups of people. It is best to show patience and chip away at his prejudice by consistently praising them, mentioning their good qualities and making excuses for them. You might also remind him of the harms of backbiting and gossiping about others.
Let this Quranic injunction serve as a reminder: Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “Be gracious, enjoin what is right, and turn away from those who act ignorantly.” [Quran, 7:199]
Please see more details here:
– What Constitutes Slander, Backbiting and How to Avoid It?
– What To Do When You Hear Slander and Backbiting
– Overcoming Ill Opinions of Others Through Looking with Faith, Love, and Mercy
– What Does the Statement by Allah Most High, “I Am as My Servant Think of Me,” Mean?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
