Does One Need to Stay in One’s Marital Home during the Post-divorce Waiting Period (’Idda)?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

I am recently divorced, and there is no harmony in the home. Lots of arguing, and we cannot get along. My in-laws blame me for our failed marriage even though my husband has been unfaithful and not even seeking another wife, just pleasure. We are of a different culture and race. As Muslims, we share the same culture: Quran and Sunna. There is no reconciliation, and I do not wish to reconcile due to what transpired over the years.

I dread the three months of bickering. Do I need to remain in such a hostile environment with the constant arguing, or do I need to stay until it gets physical?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question. I am deeply saddened to hear about your situation.

As a Quranic command, you must stay in your marital home for three menstrual periods (haydh). I understand it must be a difficult period for you and having to go through it this way. With every difficulty, ease follows, in sha’ Allah.

Wisdom of Waiting Period

There are several reasons for the obligation of the ‘Idda, like;

• To ensure that the woman’s womb is clear, so there is no confusion on who the father of the child is if the woman were to remarry and get pregnant right away ;
• It is a period of sadness that she has to manage mentally and for the man to think over too;
• The waiting period provides time for reconciliation and reconsideration, mainly if the divorce took place at the insistence of the husband;
• And, in the case of a widow, as an expression of grief on the passing of the deceased husband.

If divorce occurs after the consummation of marriage or the marriage is not consummated, but the couple has been in seclusion, then, upon divorce, the woman will have to observe the waiting period (‘Idda). [Ibn ‘Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

I sincerely pray that Allah Most High makes you go through the remaining period with ease and give understanding and empathy to all to allow you to spend the remaining time, amin.

With the severity of your situation, please consult a reliable local scholar and Imam about the specifics of the case. Also, pray two Rak‘a of Prayer of Need and ask Allah Most High for ease. May Allah facilitate all ease and good for you.

Related:

• Basic Rulings and Length of the Waiting Period (‘Idda)
• What Are the Rulings of ‘Idda (Waiting Period)?
• Is the Post-Marital Waiting Period (‘Idda) Obligatory to Observe if the Marriage Was Invalid?
• What Are the Rulings of the Waiting Period (‘Idda)? [Video]

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.