Should I Just Fornicate in This World Because I Can’t Get Real Love in Paradise?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
When it comes to guarding chastity, women’s only reward is non-punishment. Chastity for men means no punishment in hell, plus lots of wives. I want to be in deep love and always have a man with me, but it feels like I will never get this in paradise. Regardless of how much I avoid the haram, I get a man with thousands of wives in heaven, so I will be with him very little and get very little love. Can you please give me advice as it is tough to accept as not even in paradise can I get the love I desire? It seems the only way a woman can get the love she expects is to do something haram in this world, as Muslim men seem not to care for their wives as they want fairies instead.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I find it doubtful that you would instead choose Allah’s displeasure over your own, according to your misunderstanding of the facts.
Very Little Love
Heaven is not a place of very little love, time, or anything minimal. It is a place of abundant luxuries, foods, mansions, gardens, servants, rivers, loving people, a husband with the strength of a hundred men, and most of all, a generous and forgiving Lord. Instead of trying to understand paradise with your limited mind, consider this hadith and leave the rest up to Allah. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah says: ‘I have prepared for My righteous slaves that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and it has never crossed the mind of man.’” [Ibn Majah]
Fornication
You should eradicate thoughts of fornication from your mind and know that no good ever comes from it. How could you compare that to the blissful relationship with your husband in paradise?
It says in the Reliance of the Traveller p 12.1 Allah Most High says:
“Approach not fornication, it is surely an indecency and evil as a way.” [Quran, 17:32]
“The fornicator and fornicatress, scourge them each a hundred stripes and let not
pity for them take you.” [Quran 24:2]
Reward for Chastity
Allah Most High mentions the reward for virtue, and I pray it is good enough for you. Allah says in His holy book: “Surely ˹for˺ Muslim men and women, believing men and women, devout men and women, truthful men and women, patient men and women, humble men and women, charitable men and women, fasting men and women, men and women who guard their chastity, and men and women who remember Allah often—for ˹all of˺ them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.” [Quran, 33:35]
Please see this link as well for many more details:
Reader on Women’s Ranks in the Hereafter
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
