Should I Not Worry about the Haram Until I Finish 10th Grade?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am currently studying in 9th grade. Next year will be a turning point because I will have to focus on my studies. My problem is that I’m unable to balance Islam and school.
I always have doubts about Islam and low iman. I obeyed my parents when they told me to do haram because I’m afraid of their punishment. They physically abused me and beat me up till I bled a little. They don’t allow me to pray in public. They call themselves Muslims, but they sin much.
I asked my local imam how can I fear Allah properly, and he told me that I was still a kid. And I finish my 10th grade, he will teach me. He told me not to worry about the haram. Is he correct?
Answer
I empathize with your suffering and pain regarding your parents’ abuse and I pray that they come around and see things your way.
Moral Responsibility
Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “I have not created men except that they should worship Me.” [Quran, 51:56] This sums up that God expects us to do what is mandatory and avoid that which He has prohibited. The imam that told you not to worry about sins is wrong.
Muslims are morally responsible for their actions starting from puberty and should be trained in that regard far before puberty. Please take free courses with us online to learn daily life’s halals and harams and review your obligatory fiqh.
Please see these courses:
Living Right: Halal and Haram and Living Prophetic Excellence (Hanafi)
The Fiqh of Everyday Life for Youth: A Discussion of Halal and Haram Matters
Parents
Obeying parents is a general command in Islam. One does not have to follow them when they forbid one from performing obligatory acts; in the same way, one does not obey them if they order one to do something prohibited. If you need to pray in public, you are not permitted to miss the prayer. Disobey them, but with polite regard or silence, and pray. Soon, they will learn that they can’t make you miss blessings. It’s always difficult at first, but you must conquer your fear of them to obey your Lord.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “There is no obedience to the creation in the disobedience of the Creator.” [Tabarani]
Turn to Allah
You should sincerely turn to your Lord and ask Him to help you find peace with your parents and that he open their hearts. Pray on time, make sincere du`a at tahajjud time, read the Quran daily, and know that an opening will come. Allah has promised this in the Quran: “So, surely with hardship comes ease. Surely, with that hardship comes more ease.“ [Quran, 94:5-6]
Please see these links as well:
When May Parents Be Disobeyed, and How?
Do I Have to Obey My Parents If They Stop Me From Listening to Religious Talks?
How Can I Guide My Irreligious Family?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
