What Is the Ruling on Raising Children in Islam?
Answer by Dr. Muhammad Fayez Awad
Question
What is the ruling on raising children in Islam?
Answer
Raising Children in Islam
Praise be to Allah Most High. Blessings and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, companions, and those who follow him.
A Shared Responsibility
Raising children and disciplining them with the etiquette of the Shari‘a (Islamic law) is one of the most important duties that families and society should collaborate on.
Parental Responsibility
Parents are responsible for raising their children upon the faith, protecting them from the Hellfire, and ensuring they receive proper education in correct beliefs, Islamic rulings, and the manners and etiquettes of Islam. This is essential for nurturing them with an Islamic upbringing.
Divine Guidance
Allah Most High says: “O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, overseen by formidable and severe angels, who never disobey whatever Allah orders – always doing as commanded.” [Quran, 66:6]
Teaching and Discipline
Ali ibn Abi Talib (Allah be pleased with him), the cousin of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him), said that the meaning of the verse is – “Teach them and discipline them.” [Ibn Kathir, Tafsir al-Quran al-Azim, 8.167]
Supplication for Righteous Offspring
Allah Most High has said, “Bid your people to pray, and be diligent in observing it. We do not ask you to provide. It is We Who provide for you. And the ultimate outcome is ˹only˺ for ˹the people of˺ righteousness. [Quran, 20:132]
The servants of Allah, the Most Merciful, are praised for saying, “Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts and make us models for the righteous.” [Quran, 25:74]
Guidance from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him)
Abdullah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him), say: “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd, and he is responsible for his subjects. A man is a shepherd over his family and responsible for his family. A woman is a shepherd over her husband’s house and is responsible for her household. A servant is a shepherd over his master’s property and responsible for his master’s property.”
In the narration, an additional statement is attributed to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him): “A man is a shepherd over his father’s property. He is responsible for his subjects, and each of you is a shepherd and responsible for his flock.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Nurturing Daughters
It is established from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him) that he said, as narrated by Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him), “Whoever raises two girls until they reach maturity will come on the Day of Judgment like this,” and he joined his fingers together. [Muslim; Ibn Hibban]
Responsibility for Nurturing
Imam Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him), in his commentary on Sahih Muslim, explains that “raising them” (عالاهما) means taking care of them, providing for their needs, and nurturing them in various aspects of their lives, including their upbringing. [Nawawi, Sharh Sahih Muslim, 16.180]
The Salaf’s Commitment to Education
The early generations (Salaf) were keen on raising their children and would appoint specialized educators. Numerous accounts highlight their commitment to this.
The Role of Upbringing
Undoubtedly, upbringing plays a significant role in the righteousness of children. Children are born upon their natural disposition (fitra), and it is the role of upbringing to preserve or shape this disposition.
Fitra and Upbringing
The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him) said: “Every child is born upon the fitra (natural disposition). Then his parents turn him into a Jew, a Christian, or a Magian.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
The Significance of Upbringing
Imam Ghazali (Allah have mercy on him), said: “A young child is a trust in the hands of their parents, with a pure heart like a precious gem, free from any inscriptions or images. It is receptive to any impression and inclines towards whatever it is accustomed to.
If they are raised with goodness, they will grow up upon it and bring happiness to their parents in this world and the Hereafter. If they are exposed to evil and neglected, they will suffer, and perish, and the burden falls on those responsible for them.
Just as the body is not created completely in the beginning but develops and strengthens with nourishment, similarly, the soul is created with imperfections, ready for perfection. It attains this through upbringing, refining of character, and nurturing with knowledge.” [Ghazali, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din, 3.72]
We ask Allah Most High to guide and protect our children and descendants, for He is the All-Hearing and Responsive.
