Should I Marry a Boy Who Insists That He Will Kill Himself I Don’t?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Should I marry the boy in my area who threatens suicide if I refuse, despite his history of attempts, doctors suggesting marriage or hospitalization, and his family’s proposal, considering the mental distress and fear I face?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for worrying about this boy’s life and future and having a kind and soft heart.

Run

Run away from this person as fast as you can, and never look back. He is mentally ill; he will plague your life with instability, insecurity, suffering, and possibly abuse. He sounds like he has multiple health problems, and shackling yourself to him will only mean your destruction. Please look for an educated, religious, well-mannered, and modest man who doesn’t need to guilt you into marrying him. No one can force you to marry him.

Choose a man according to the advice of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious; may you be blessed!” [Bukhari & Muslim] This advice applies to both genders.

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May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.