Should I Admit to Lying to Several Girls Online?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Over the past years, I had a habit of misleading hundreds of women via social media and phone calls. I lied and acted as though I was interested in them. With many of them, I made an excuse to stop talking to them and asked them to forgive me. However, there is one girl I am still in contact with. I meet her occasionally, and I’ve told her that I love her while misleading multiple other women. I am not ready for marriage, and she is not a Muslim. I want to cut off this relationship. Is it sufficient for me to ask her for forgiveness and leave it? Am I obliged to tell her that I have been lying to her?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah guide you and help you rectify your addiction and evil behavior.
Lying
It is not necessary for you to tell her that you have lied; rather, you should ask for forgiveness, cut her off, and move on. Cease your habit of misleading multiple other women and find something better to do with your life. Pray to Allah that you stop being an inveterate liar and pray for guidance. I pray that all women can be protected from your evil and that you repent.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “It is obligatory for you to tell the truth, for the truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise, and the man who continues to speak the truth and endeavors to tell the truth, is eventually recorded as truthful with Allah. And beware of telling of a lie, for telling of a lie leads to obscenity, and obscenity leads to Hellfire, and the person who keeps telling lies and endeavors to tell a lie is recorded as an inveterate liar with Allah.” [Bukhari]
Just Stop
Take this hadith seriously and do something to compensate for your womanizing: Ibn’ Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Take advantage of five things before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your riches before your poverty, your free time before your work, and your life before your death.” [Bayhaqi]
Allah Most High has told us, “Surely those who offend Allah and His Messenger are condemned by Allah in this world and the Hereafter. And He has prepared for them a humiliating punishment. As for those who abuse believing men and women unjustifiably, they will definitely bear the guilt of slander and blatant sin.” [Quran, 33:57-58]
Please see these links as well:
Will Bad Muslims Get Away With Their Crimes?
Why Do Good People Suffer While Bad People Get Away With Crimes?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
