Should I Go to a Mediation Hearing or Take My Case to Court?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

A year ago when I was 16, there was a situation at school where I felt like another Muslim was taking advantage of me and bossing me around. This bothered me so much for many days, and I could not bear to live with it so I went up to them and asked them why they were acting like that.

They got aggressive and were swearing at me in front of everyone and out of humiliation and anger I fought him. I know it was not right, but it is in the past.

We have been offered mediation but to be honest, I do not want to go to a place where I will be getting sworn at or yelled at again. I have changed, but they haven’t. I’m more peaceful these days, but if I do not go to that mediation, I will go to court against this other Muslim. What should I do?

Answer

I empathize with your frustration, but you lost your cool and now, go to the mediation; don’t make it worse.

Solve Disputes

Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “ They ask you ˹O, Prophet˺ regarding the spoils of war. Say, ‘Their distribution is decided by Allah and His Messenger. So be mindful of Allah, settle your affairs, and obey Allah and His Messenger if you are ˹true˺ believers.’” [Quran, 8:1]

And Allah Most High has told us, “Obey Allah and His Messenger and do not dispute with one another, or you would be discouraged and weakened. Have patience! Surely Allah is with those who are patient.” [Quran, 8:46]

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Do not cut off one another, nor desert one another, nor hate one another, nor envy one another. Be you, O worshippers of Allah, brothers. It is not lawful for the Muslim to shun his brother for more than three(days).” [Tirmidhi]

And Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “And hold firmly to the rope of Allah and do not be divided. Remember Allah’s favour upon you when you were enemies, then He united your hearts, so you—by His grace—became brothers. And you were at the brink of a fiery pit and He saved you from it. This is how Allah makes His revelations clear to you, so that you may be ˹rightly˺ guided.” [Quran, 3:103]

Legal Advice

I’m sure that you have someone who can give you good legal advice, but I don’t see why you would take the matter to court when you can solve it before that. Instead of letting someone else decide the outcome of your case, you should come to a mutually acceptable agreement with the other party.

Yes, you will have to step on your ego a bit, but in the long run, you will be glad you did. Seek justice, but also repent for your mistakes. If you are truly peaceful and have repented, then prove this to yourself by going to the mediation hearing, and seeking a solution.

Please see these links as well:
A Guide to Mediation at the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario
Family mediation
Alternative Dispute Resolution: Arbitration & Mediation in non-Muslim Regions – Tabah Foundation
Is Beating Someone Permissible When Defending One’s Honor or as a Religious Admonishment?
Can Muslims Take Each Other to Secular Courts of Law?
How Should I Deal with Friends Who Fought and Now Are Angry at Me?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.