Should I Check My Husband’s Phone Regularly to Ensure He Is Faithful?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
With my last fiance, we never married because he was attracted to other women and reached out to them virtually. I trusted him, and when he broke his promise, I got paranoid. My father did the same thing with my mother. Currently, I am engaged to a good man, in sha’ Allah. We will marry after five months, in sha’ Allah. He prays; he is not perfect, and he has his past mistakes, BUT HE IS TRYING TO IMPROVE. He gave me access to his social media.
Due to my PTSD, I have this constant fear that something is happening behind my back. I have an intense urge to check his phone & socials when we are apart. Whenever I think of checking, I get severe anxiety. Should I check his phone on a regular basis?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May all reward you for respecting yourself enough to want to be treated fairly, but I encourage you to have some patience and trust in Allah.
Checking His Phone
Checking your husband’s phone regularly for unfaithfulness is not normal behavior, and you should strive to heal from your past. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity and should not live under the shadow of fear, accusations, and mistrust. Move forward, enjoy your engagement and wedding, and channel all of your fears into dua for guidance, help, healing, balance, and closeness to Allah. Please take a free course with us to prepare yourself for marriage.
Spying
Believers have been commanded not to spy. Allah Most High said in the Quran, “O believers! Avoid many suspicions, (for) indeed, some suspicions are sinful. And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that! And fear Allah. Surely Allah is (the) Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful.” [Quran, 49:12]
Please see these links as well:
- Can I Check My Husband’s Phone for Pornography?
- Can A Husband Check His Wife’s Phone and Ask to Whom She Is Speaking?
- What Is the Ruling on Spying and Suspicion?
- Is It Permissible to Learn about Lies, Deception and Spying?
- Is It Permissible To Spy on My Wife if I Fear That She Is Involved in the Porn Business?
- Can I Spy on My Husband?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
