How Should I Treat My Friends of the Opposite Gender Who Don’t Dress Modestly?

I have been practicing Islam for over one year now. I have friends, especially female friends, who don’t observe hijab and sometimes wear beach wear, and low waist sarees. What should be my approach/character towards them? Should I break my bonds with them or be more friendly with them?

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your honesty and sincerity and for seeking the pleasure of Allah Most High.

Gender interaction

You may have learned throughout your year of practicing Islam that men and women must follow gender interaction limits with each other. A man and woman who are not immediately related (mahram) must not look at one another, not chat pointlessly, not touch each other, or be alone together. A few examples from primary texts follow:

Ibn Abbas said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) give a sermon. He said, ‘A man should not seclude himself with a woman except that there be with her someone who is of unmarriageable kin (mahram).’” [Bukhari & Muslim]

Allah Most High said, ˹O Prophet!˺ Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.” And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, and not to reveal their adornments except what normally appears. Let them draw their veils over their chests, and not reveal their ˹hidden˺ adornments except to their husbands, their fathers, their fathers-in-law, their sons, their stepsons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, their fellow women, those ˹bondwomen˺ in their possession, male attendants with no desire, or children who are still unaware of women’s nakedness. Let them not stomp their feet, drawing attention to their hidden adornments. Turn to Allah in repentance all together, O  believers, so that you may be successful. [Quran, 24:30-31]

Friends

Eventually, you should distance yourself from your lady friends, but be nice about it and don’t be mean to them. Considering the way they dress, you should break off the friendships sooner than later. If they complain about your distance, tell them that you have decided to become more God-conscious, introduce modesty and gender interaction limits into your life and that it’s nothing personal. They won’t like it, but they will get used to it. This is an essential step to transforming your relationship with Allah. Pray that they turn to Allah for guidance, and you will all find your lives much improved by the grace of Allah.

Please see these links as well:

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadah] Shazia Ahmad

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.