Do I Need the Permission of My Husband to Let People into Home?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia
Question
Do I have to ask my husband each time for his permission to let someone into our home, such as my sister, even though she has come over before and he has no problem with her?
His own sister will visit us without telling us, but my mom asked me if my sister could visit me, and I said yes, and my husband was angry because I never asked his permission first.
I am upset because I have paid a lot of money into buying our house, too, but I don’t feel I have any value in my home.
Answer
May Allah reward you for your patience, and may He help you find compromise and understanding with your sister.
Permission
Permission does not need to be sought whenever you want to invite someone over if you and your husband have a general understanding of each other. This is the way that most of the world works.
If there is someone that your husband doesn’t want in the house, he should let you know beforehand, and you are not accountable if didn’t know. Your contribution to purchasing the house doesn’t remove his right.
Our Islamic standard is in this hadith. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “It is not lawful for a woman to observe (voluntary) fasting without the permission of her husband when he is at home, and she should not allow anyone to enter his house without his permission.” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Your Case
The case of you inviting your sister over doesn’t sound like he doesn’t want to allow her into the home. It sounds like he was inconvenienced by the day and time that she came.
It is better to mention when and who you want to invite by asking him beforehand, ensuring that it doesn’t interfere with his schedule or resting time. To me, this sounds like a simple case of bad timing. Be more vigilant in the future about this schedule, and don’t take it too personally.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.” [Ibn Maja]
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
