Can I Let My Children Watch Cartoons without Telling Their Father?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Is it sinful or disobedient of the wife if a father doesn’t like or allow the children to play permissible children’s games or watch cartoons as he thinks it’s a waste of time, but the mother allows them to when he is not around?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Yes, it is sinful to disobey your husband and teach the children this kind of disobedience and hypocrisy.
Trust
Your husband is the supervisor/leader of the family, and you and the children are all under his care. He is like a shepherd, and if his flock doesn’t let him care for them in the best way, what kind of leadership does he have? If his flock is rebelling, hiding, and running amok, how will he help them grow, be independent, and be strong?
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said it the best in this hadith: “Beware, every one of you is a shepherd, and everyone is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects (as to how he conducted their affairs). A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them (as to how she managed the household and brought up the children). A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it (as to how he safeguarded his trust). Beware, every one of you is a guardian, and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.” [Muslim]
Please see these links about disobedience to the husband:
What Are My Obligations in Obeying My Husband in the Shafi’i School?
Do I Have to Obey My Husband in Everything?
Open Up
The best thing for you is to be on the same team as your husband. Open to him about your feelings and ask him if there can be some compromise. Sometimes, children who are strictly prohibited from cartoons turn away from religion.
Also, listen to his point of view, try to understand his opinion about it, and truly respect it. Your husband has a high standard in child-rearing, which will bring nothing but benefit by the grace of Allah. If you feel that the children need some entertainment, there are many alternatives, such as educational programs online, drawing programs, math games, board games, etc. Going behind his back should not even be a last resort.
The Best Wife
It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, what type of wife is best? He said, ‘The one who makes (her husband) happy when he looks at her, and she obeys him if he instructs her to do something, and she does not do anything with regard to herself or his wealth in a manner of which he does not approve.’” [Ahmad]
Please see these links as well:
Is watching cartoons permissible?
Is Making and Watching Hand-Drawn Cartoons Permissible?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
