Does My Dream Mean That I Should Not Pursue a Pious Girl for Marriage?
Answered by Ustada Shazia Ahmad
Question
My friend committed zina in frustration and repented sincerely. He fell in love with someone who is a pious Muslim, he tried his best to approach her for 4 years but failed every time. He cried to Allah for forgiveness and for her in Tahajjud the fard prayers. So after four years of struggle, just two weeks before he met her, he saw a dream where that girl visited his house which seemed very dark and gloomy, and he apologized to her but she walked away without forgiving him. He sees her house which seems full of light. Two weeks later, they met, and things went south, he argued with her and she left him for good. Does this mean that he is a fornicator who repented and she is a pious Muslim, hence Allah separated them?
Answer
Dream
I am unsure about the interpretation of your dream, but if I were to guess, I would guess it was negative. You didn’t mention that you prayed istikhara, only that you wanted to pursue someone for four years. I don’t believe that you should spend that kind of time praying for someone as this serves as a great distraction from the true purpose of marriage and life itself. Infatuation is not from the sunna, rather, marriage is to find someone to help complete your faith, and it should be pursued in a healthy and balanced way, seeking help from Allah, for Allah and through Allah.
Anas reported God’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) as saying, “When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear God regarding the remaining half.” [Bayhaqi]
Replace it something better
This girl may not be the one for you despite how you feel about her. Remember this most important hadith if you end up moving on, after a negative istikhara: Abu Qatada (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Most High but that Allah will replace it with something better for you.” [Musnad of Ahmad]
Turn to Allah
I urge you to turn to Allah in total sincerity and seek a balance in your life regarding your work, study, personal life, and rest. Develop good habits, and please take a course with us to cover your obligatory fiqh, the seera of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), tajweed and consider taking the course below on the tricks of the Devil. When the time comes, choose a spouse for religion and ask Allah to send you someone who will help you grow spiritually and complement you in every way.
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[Ustada] Shazia Ahmad
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
