An Islamic Foundation: Goals and the Tranquil Home

This is the seventh article in a series dealing with parental education of children. It was taken from the  seminar: What Your Child Needs: A Parent’s Guide to Islamic Education.

What are your goals for your children before they leave your house? Your children have to cover their personally obligatory knowledge, ideally before the age of puberty. They need to learn certain aspects of the religion, ideally with a scholar.  

SeekersGuidance is one platform where you are able to access resources and courses such as the Islamic studies curriculum. Even better than that is finding that teaching in your local community so your child can feel comfortable going to the scholars and asking their questions.

Turn Continuously to Allah 

Teach your children how to pray and different supplications they can say throughout the day. It is important that they know the why. Inculcate in the hearts of your children that there is only one God and that He alone is worthy of worship. Teach them to have love for Allah, gratefulness to Allah, and awe of Allah. Often mention Allah. Let them see that example in your own life so whether things are good or bad, you are continuously turning back to Allah. 

When you pray,  do it out of longing to be with Allah. Praise Him in the best way. Look forward to the five daily prayers and to standing before Allah. Teach that to the children so that they do not feel some sort of burden. Teach them the meanings of what is being said. 

The daily supplications that are often taught to children should be something we say on a regular basis ourselves. This again relates to turning to Allah in all of your moments that you are stating your need before Allah and recognizing your impoverishment asking Him for help. 

Memorization

With regard to the Quran, set learning goals for how much Quran you want them to memorize, know and understand while they are living with you. This time goes by so quickly. If you have trouble with motivation, ask for help from scholars in your local community. 

Then there is additional memorization that they could do if you want to have them on a learning track. They could potentially go into Islamic studies. Know that learning is continuous and lifelong so there is no point where you are suddenly hands off your children.

We may always want results immediately but sometimes, approaching your child immediately about a matter that you want them to change might be too abrupt for them. We just have to continue watering that garden and providing the best atmosphere we can. Not all children are alike. Some may take time so do not speed them along and be verbally abrupt or unacceptable in your character. 

You have to be in tune with the child to know what they are ready for and what they are not ready for. Know the best times to say things and when it is better to be silent.  Even when they become adults, call them to best conduct. 

Look at how you spend your free time. Children learn from that. They learn from you continuously, until you are in your grave. It goes for your whole life, they see you as a young parent but then they see you as a middle-aged parent. Consider even when you take care of your elders how they learn from that. That is the cycle of life. We have to look at our ways of teaching. Are they the most acceptable to children? 

Importance of a Tranquil Home 

The home needs to have certain elements to bring tranquillity.  Firstly, it should have people in there who are reading the Quran out loud on a regular basis. This brings a lot of angels into that place. 

Secondly, it is important that we all work on our relationship with our spouse. A peaceful marriage leads to a peaceful household. If the parents are continuously clashing, it disrupts the children in a way that they will never forget. Exemplify what a beautiful marriage relationship is for the children. 

Thirdly,  keep the environment clean and decluttered. When there is too much mess in the house, children do not thrive as much in that environment. Teach children not to hoard things and to prefer others to themselves.

Fourthly, demonstrate how to resolve conflict with your spouse or children in a peaceful manner. Teach them that conflict is always to be resolved peacefully and in the best way, with everyone committed to exemplifying the best character possible. 

Finally, take the family on tranquil outings. This could be taking the family out for walks in peaceful settings, even if your children are older. A lot of times we may think we are too busy and do not have time for these things, and we may opt for tourist attractions despite the fact that the peace and tranquillity of natural settings has an impact on the heart. It also leads to memories that your family will never forget, God-Willing.