How to Deal with My Non-practicing Convert Husband?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I got married a year ago to someone who converted before our marriage. He promised me that he was not doing it just for marriage and would learn about Islam and apply it, but he has not. I am pregnant and have come closer to Allah Most High since I want to raise my child Islamically. He has not put any effort into his conversion and acts too busy. When I talk to him about Islam, put on Islamic documentaries, read the Quran to him, or tell him of a Muslim’s reward, he still doesn’t seem affected.

My practice didn’t inspire him either. He said he was not ready to repent, which really upset me. I want my child to be raised as a Muslim, and my husband is not a good example. Is our marriage a sin? I fear we will drift apart.

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with the pain that you are feeling about your husband. His lack of interest sheds doubt on his ability as a Muslim father and husband. It is indeed heartbreaking. May Allah Most High rectify this situation for you.

Your marriage is not sinful because he has not recanted his Islam. If he does so, then you would be automatically divorced. Perhaps you should make him understand this in a non-threatening way.

See the following links for clear and detailed information about your problem:
My husband Doesn’t Pray
My Husband Is Lazy About His Prayers. How Do I Convince Him?
How to Deal With a Husband Who Doesn’t Practice?
My Husband Does Not Practice. What Do I Do?

In the meantime, please continue to practice your religion, so the presence of Allah’s dhikr is not lost in your home. Read the Quran every day, pray and pay zakat on time. Turn to Allah with the Prayer of Need and beg him to change your husband for the better. Keep the company of good religious friends.

Also, be a supportive and loving wife; sometimes kindness, love, and respect can be enough to make a man see the fruits of this religion and inspire him. Raise your son as a Muslim in the best way you can. Be sure to take a class on raising children on Seekers and ask him to join you from a parenting perspective.

May Allah give your family the best of this world and the next.

Given the considerations in such cases, please consult reliable local scholars about the specifics of the situation. Jazakum Allah khayr

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.