Can We Do Secret Nikah before the Wedding to Avoid Zina?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My fiance and I will get married in August. This is a couple of months away, and I am afraid of sinning with her, so we are considering getting a shari’a nikah. I need to know if performing a nikah is ok without her parents knowing. For sure, her dad won’t like the idea of us doing this before the actual wedding.

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Merciful and Most Compassionate

Don’t Take the Easy Way Out

No, a secret marriage is always a bad idea because it entails great disrespect to the parents, a major sin. I am sure that you would not appreciate your daughter doing the same to you. You may not feel that you are not strong enough to avoid fornication, but you are.

Chivalry

Acquiring her father’s permission to marry her is a remarkable feat, and you should show your appreciation by doing everything correctly. Verily it is a test of your manhood. Marry her lawfully by coming through the front door and not climbing in from a window. (Egyptian expression)

Imagine the Worst

The patience that you show now will pay off forever, and anything regretful that you do now could have horrible consequences. Imagine that she gets pregnant and miscarries before the wedding. Imagine that you sleep with her, get into a fight, and end up divorcing her before August. You must give her all of her rights Islamically, which can’t be done except by a public nikah.

Check these links:
Is It Valid to Marry in Secret?
Can I Marry in Secret With the Minimum Conditions for a Valid Marriage in Order to Avoid Fornication?

May Allah bless your union and give your family the best of both worlds.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.