Is Yelling Out of Frustration to Parents Haram?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

My sisters messed up my room, and I complained to my mother about it, showing my frustration, because I always have to clean my room. I said, “I’m going to clean always, this is not normal. They mess up my room, and I need to clean it?” with a frustrated voice. In the end, I ended up yelling at my mother, “This is not normal!!!!” She did not get angry, she just stayed silent. Was I sinful, then?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for wanting to attain the pleasure of your parents and, thereby, the pleasure of your Lord.

Uff

It is a Quranic injunction that one does not show disrespect to one’s parents, and if raising your voice at your parents is not showing disrespect, then I don’t know what is. Her silence is irrelevant and does not indicate her happiness or acceptance of being yelled at.

Allah Most High said in the Quran, “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “Uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” [Quran, 17:23]

Tawba

With any sin in life, you should get into the habit of daily repentance, especially at night. Train yourself to express your emotions clearly without anger, and if your sibling is the one causing you pain, then why yell at your mother?

Abu Huraira reported that a person said: “Allah’s Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: ‘Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness).’” [Muslim]

Please see these links as well:

• Goodness to Parents – A Reader

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.