Is It Permissible to Correct Parents and What Is the Best Way?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

How do children correct, criticize, or even physically stop parents? I feel shame for even wanting to correct my parents, for all they have done for me. However, sometimes they cause harm to others, habitually sin in public, and go directly against what the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) has taught us. I am sometimes even judged based on what they do. I know in the Quran, that children cannot even say “Uff” to their parents. So, is there no room for advising parents in Islam? If not, I will continue to tolerate and stay silent. However, if there is, what is the best way to do so?

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your desire to help your parents, and yes, it is permissible and praiseworthy to teach them, correct them, and support them in improving themselves. This must be done with the utmost effectiveness, politeness, and gentleness; please review the links below for commanding the good and forbidding the wrong. All Muslims have a duty to purify their souls and eliminate the haram from their lives. No one is born with this skill.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “He who guides (others) to an act of goodness, will have a reward similar to that of its doer.” [Muslim]

And he also said (Allah bless him and give him peace), “Allah is gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.” [Ibn Maja]

Please see more details here:

• Should I Stop Correcting My Mother and Just Love Her?
• What Are the Criteria for Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil?
• How Can I Guide My Parents to the Right Path?
• How Do I Advise My Parents To Avoid Sins if It Annoys Them?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.