How Can I Serve My Parents without Feeling Overwhelmed?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am the eldest daughter in the family, a full-time college student and have several siblings to look after. My parents are often busy and I often find myself doing household tasks such as cleaning, cooking, and caring for my parents, alongside my schoolwork. At times I feel overwhelmed and stressed. However, I am striving my best to be dutiful to my parents in serving them. I often feel guilty if I don’t check on my parents or cook for the family. How can I still fulfill my obligation of serving my parents without feeling overwhelmed or guilty for “stepping back”?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity and your willingness to be dutiful to your parents. May He facilitate for you to fulfill all of your goals, worldly and other-worldly?
Worship
Narrated Ibn Mas`ud: “A man asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) ‘What deeds are the best?’ The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: ‘(1) To perform the (daily compulsory) prayers at their (early) stated fixed times, (2) to be good and dutiful to one’s own parents, (3) and to participate in Jihad in Allah’s Cause.’”
[Bukhari]
Remember that everything you are doing is worship as long as you intend the pleasure of Allah thereby. One naturally would feel overwhelmed in your position, but if you have better time management, don’t burn yourself out, and give priority to your school, because usually you only have one shot to do well in your program, I am confident that Allah will pave a way to ease in your other acts of service.
I am honestly pleased to see that your plate is full of good things, seeking education, selfless service and a sense of duty. These are very lacking in some of the youth these days. Please schedule time for self-care, rest, exercise and socializing. Try combining self-care activities with your duties, may Allah place baraka in your time.
Blessings
Keep in mind these important ahadith. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Two blessings which many people squander: Good health and free time.” [Ibn Maja]
And Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Take advantage of five things before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your illness, your riches before your poverty, your free time before your work, and your life before your death.” [Bayhaqi]
Please see these links as well:
How Do I Deal With the Overwhelming Responsibilities and Lack of Achievements in My Life?
How Do We Get Baraka In Our Time?
Bringing Barakah Into Your Wealth and Life
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
