What Can I Do To Save My Marriage?

Question

I want to save my marriage, sir. There have been a couple of fights between my mother and wife. After the fights, my wife never mentioned divorce or khula, but recently, she has asked for khula without apparent reason. I have tried my best to convince her, but she remains adamant. Her parents are also trying to persuade her, but she doesn’t agree to any terms. Please help me with guidance on the steps I should take. I genuinely don’t want our marriage to end like this.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate. May Allah alleviate our difficulties and guide us to what pleases Him. Amin.

I understand the difficulties you are facing in your marriage. I offer my compassion and empathy for your situation. Marital challenges can be overwhelming, but remember that Allah is the Turner of hearts, and with sincere supplication and patience, there is hope for reconciliation.

In times of distress, pray to Allah and seek His guidance and support. Remember the words of the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace): “No Muslim makes a supplication except that Allah gives him what he asked or prevents evil from him that is equal to it unless he commits an error or a sin.” [Tirmidhi]

Ensure to maintain open and respectful communication with your wife, trying to understand her concerns and feelings. Seek counseling from a qualified Islamic scholar or a reputable marriage counselor who can guide you according to Islamic principles.

Also, take the advice and support of wise and experienced family members or elders, seeking their intervention to facilitate reconciliation.

Patience, empathy, and understanding are essential in resolving marital disputes. Continue to make sincere efforts to save your marriage while relying on Allah’s wisdom and guidance.

May Allah grant you the strength to overcome these challenges and bless your marriage with love and harmony.

I pray this is of benefit and that Allah guides us all.
[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar Shaykh Taha Karaan.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Mawlana Yusuf Karaan, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has served as the Director of the Discover Islam Centre and Al Jeem Foundation. For the last five years till present, he has served as the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has thirteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town). He is currently building an Islamic online learning and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and has completed his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy living and fitness.