Should I Work More to Please My Wife or Be Content with My Income?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I’m 35 years old. Approximately five years ago, I was fortunate to acquire and invest a decent sum of wealth that now generates approximately $2000/month for me passively without my active involvement. I’m content with living a very simple life and have not had a need for more money than this for myself to live comfortably. I recently got married, and my wife is not content with my living conditions. She wishes to study further and work to earn more, but I am afraid of her being badly influenced by non-Muslims as she is only 22 years old. Should I return to work to earn more to make my wife happy? Or insist that she be content with what we already have? Or allow her to work outside? I can and will work if necessary, but I do not know what to do.

Answer

Thank you for your question. Give me a little reward you for your abstinence and simplicity, and may He guide you to what is best for your family in this world and the next.

Your Provision

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “O people, fear Allah and be moderate in seeking a living, for no soul will die until it has received all its provision, even if it is slow in coming. So fear Allah and be moderate in seeking provision; take that which is permissible and leave that which is forbidden.” [Ibn Maja]

The advice above instructs us to seek provision in a moderate way. Fom what you describe, you may be comfortable now, but with the rising costs of living, and with the arrival of children, in sha Allah, you may have to work more very soonr. I advise you to pray istikhara, talk to other families around you who may be on the brink of having children, think about savings plans, and look at the good you can do with your money if you do make more.

Standard of Living

You would do well to see what standard of living your wife is accustomed to, as it is a sunna (and sometimes obligatory) for you to provide that same standard for her.

See this excerpt, for example, from The Reliance of the Traveller:

m11.8 The wife is entitled to housing of the same quality as that of similar women. (O: The standard of housing depends on the wife herself, while the standard for her clothing and support takes the state of the husband into consideration. The difference is because the expenditures for her support and clothing become her own property and are not merely for her use, while housing is solely for use (N: meaning that while she can take compensation in place of food or clothing and buy some other kind, she cannot rent a different house). In any case, she is obliged to stay in the lodgings her husband arranges for her.) If she had servants in her father’s house, the husband is obliged to provide servants for her.

Working Wife

This is between you and your wife, discuss it openly with her, and be honest and transparent. Discuss what kind of work you might be comfortable with her doing, and take it from there. Discuss what would happen when she gets pregnant. Pray istikhara and seek guidance to make the best decisions for your religion, and worldly affairs.

Please see these links as well:

• Is It Better To Take a Promotion at Work or Use My Current Free Time To Worship?
• Is It Permissible to Work for a Woman Who Doesn’t Actually Need It?
• What Is the Role and Responsibility of Wife in the Marriage?
• Should Women Work?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.