Is It Sinful That I Pray to Divorce My Husband and Marry a Married Man?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I spent many years in a neglectful marriage and kept asking my spouse to fix things, but he ignored my pleas. Eventually, I fell into sin and became emotionally involved with a married man. Things between us got worse, and we both decided to repent. We have gotten to the point where we rarely speak, but occasionally we do. We want to be married. We both have children, and it is very complicated. Is it sinful to make dua for Allah to create a pathway for us to be together that does not cause destruction in this life and the next, considering we are both married to others when making this dua?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity in wanting to do what is right and for trying to end the relationship.

In Love

Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Allah fixed the very portion of adultery which a man will indulge in. There would be no escape from it. The adultery of the eye is the lustful look and the adultery of the ears is listening to voluptuous (song or talk) and the adultery of the tongue is licentious speech and the adultery of the hand is the lustful grip (embrace) and the adultery of the feet is to walk (to the place) where he intends to commit adultery and the heart yearns and desires that which he may or may not put into effect.” [Muslim]

Cheating

You are being emotionally unfaithful to your husband, and I encourage you to desist immediately and look to strengthen your marriage. I guarantee you that even if you divorced your husband for this man, he would not leave his wife for you. In short, it is permissible for you to pray for it, but wrong and akin to abandoning your husband and following your lusts, essentially choosing the Devil’s path. Please don’t be an example like this for your children.

Turn to Allah

I advise you to repent and channel your energy into making dua so that Allah renews your love for your husband and shows you different ways to bring the spark back. Don’t waste your energy on a man who is already married. Perform the Prayer of Need, make dua before dawn, pray your obligatory prayers on time, and make the Quran your best friend. If you seek happiness at home, by the grace of Allah, you will find it.

A Way Out

Keep your hopes up and know that Allah’s promise is true in the Quran: “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Quran, 65:2-3]

Please see these links as well:

• A Married Man Wants to Marry Me. What Do I Do?
• My Friend Is in Love With a Married Man. Is This Permissible?
• A Reader On Gender Interaction
• Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.