Can One Conceal Infertility Complications Before Marriage?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

A trusted doctor, after all medical lab tests, said that my sister has a disease that causes infertility. Hence, there is a low chance of getting pregnant and bearing children for her after marriage, and she should take hormonal medication lifelong. So he also said that we should tell her future husband about this before the wedding. But we don’t like it. It will be very difficult to find a better groom for her. Also a shame and mental stress for her. If this information leaks and spreads in the community.
1) Is it necessary to tell all this before marriage?
2) What is the ideal Islamic way here?
3) Is it a sin to hide this?
4) We fear that if the boy, after marriage, comes to know that we are hiding all this.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

It is important for her and the family to let the prospective husband know about the possible inability to bear children. You will find many who will be supportive and who might accept. This is Kismet. Children are also one’s destiny and a trust from Allah, not a right, per se. We have to accept and believe but have hope that Allah Most grant us what is good for us. He knows the wisdom, and we will see His wisdom unfold in our life and on the Day of Judgement.

So, in summary, it is better, to be honest about this from the outset. It will take courage. We pray she will find someone who will understand and accept her; just let her know to become a worthy prospective spouse, work on herself, her health, and diet, and aspire to higher spirituality; in sha Allah, she will find someone. Just be patient and grateful. She will be considered most beloved to Allah Most High.

Be Grateful and Patient

Suhaib (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Wondrous is the affair of the believer for it is suitable for him in every matter, and this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If he is happy, he thanks Allah, and thus there is good for him. If he is harmed, he shows patience; thus, there is good for him.” [Muslim]

The most beloved servants in the sight of Allah are those who are very grateful and patient. When they are tested, they adopt patience, and when they are bestowed with a bounty, they are grateful.

Imam Ahmad (Allah have mercy on him) has recorded this narration as the statement of the reliable follower (Tabi’i)  Mutarrif ibn ‘Abdullah ibn Shikkhir (Allah have mercy on him) with a reliable chain.

[Ahmad al-Hanbal, Al-Zuhd]

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.

Related Answers

• I Can’t Have Children. Is It Wrong for Me to Get Married? – SeekersGuidance
• Infertility Archives – SeekersGuidance
• How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (salat al-haja)? – SeekersGuidance
• Infertility: Why Does Allah Not Bless Some With Children? – SeekersGuidance
• Divine Decree, Contentment, and Lessons From the Prophet’s Life – SeekersGuidance
• A Reader on Patience and Reliance on Allah – SeekersGuidance
• Depression and Worry – Sh Hamza Yusuf – Bing video

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Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.