Am I Sinning If My Father Doesn’t Attend My Nikah Celebration?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Seven months ago, I had my nikah with my husband, and we are planning on doing the celebration in a month. My dad kept insisting that we get married at the council. However, my husband and I are still weighing the pros and cons, and we didn’t book any appointments at the council. Now there are no appointments left before our celebration and my dad said he will not attend the wedding if we are not married at the council first. I told him we could book an appointment and get married at the council in a couple of months, but he said he would still not attend the wedding. Can you kindly advise if I am sinning if he does not attend?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for wanting to please Allah by pleasing your father, and may He facilitate this matter for you.

Attendance

The consent of your father is necessary for the nikah, but his attendance at your nikah celebration is not mandatory. That being said, it is potentially sinful because of the hurt it would cause him. I encourage you to delay the celebration until your council marriage is done or convince him to attend. Celebrating without him will cause disappointment, anger, and sadness, and it might take years to get over the pain. It’s better to sacrifice a little now, and not have regrets for the rest of your life. Patience is called for right now.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience”. [Bukhari & Muslim] Patience is called for right now.

Please see these links as well:

• Can I Have a Nikah and Move In with My Wife Later?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.