How Do We Strike a Balance between Argumentation and Not Allowing Ourselves to Be Wronged?
Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch
Question
The Prophet ﷺ said: “I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for the one who stops quarreling even if he is in the right.”
How do we strike a balance between not arguing with a rude, difficult person at work but also stopping them from being rude and taking advantage of us for being nice?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate
Argumentation is one of the most destructive qualities a believer can fall into.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “No people have gone astray after having been upon guidance except that it was because they gave into argumentation.” [Tirmidhi]
Letter of the Law
The minimum standard every believer must apply in their interactions with others is the letter of the Sacred Law. [Ghazali, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din]
The Sacred law allows one to defend their rights and stand up for themselves such that they are demanding the same amount of respect and dignity that is customarily due to everyone else.
In acting upon this level, one must limit their replies to the extent of the need and without adding any sinful speech therein. [Ibid.]
The Prophetic Standard
Although the above is allowed, the believer should always strive towards the higher standard, the Prophetic standard.
The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Shall I not inform you of the noblest of character in this world and the Next? It is that you pardon those who wrong you, that. You give those who withhold from you, and that you join ties with those who cut ties with you.” [Bayhaqi, Shu’ab al-Iman]
Abandoning Argumentation to Protect the Heart
A person can rarely stand up for themselves and argue their case without themselves wronging the other and/or thinking ill of the other. [Ghazali, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din]
At the very least, their heart becomes disturbed such that they relive the argument in their heart over and over again, even if they were in prayer. [Ibid.]
Hope this helps
Allah knows best
[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Yusuf Weltch teaches Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he completed four years at the Darul Uloom Seminary in New York, where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences.
He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he studied for three years in Dar al-Mustafa under some of the most outstanding scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib.
In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Quran and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Quranic exegesis, Islamic history, and several texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.
