How Do I Know That I Will Be Able To Sexually Satisfy My Wife Before Marriage?

Question:

I am 28 years old,  unmarried male, and I used to masturbate a lot. I lost some sensitivity, and now I wonder if I will be able to satisfy my future wife’s needs. Will it be permissible for me to go to a prostitute to confirm if I can still perform or not? I do not want to ruin some girl’s life by marrying her.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for being concerned about your future wife’s welfare.

Prostitute

It is still not permissible for you to go to a prostitute to check your capabilities because sleeping with her would be an enormity in and of itself. The sin of fornication is not something that you want to be accountable for on the Day of Judgment. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “A fornicator who fornicates is not a believer as long as he commits fornication, and no one who steals is a believer as long as he commits theft, and no one who drinks wine is a believer as long as he drinks it, and repentance may be accepted after that.“ [Muslim]

Doctor

Rather, you should go to a doctor and talk to him about it. Follow his recommendation. It may be that you will need to visit a doctor even after you are married to see if you suffer from erectile dysfunction. The most important step for you now is that you have stopped masturbating and repented. While your heart is healing, so is your body and by the grace of Allah, you will regain the strength that you once had.

Give Thanks

Allah, Most High, says, “And ˹remember˺ when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. But if you are ungrateful, surely My punishment is severe.’” [Qur’an, 14:7] Thank Allah for having stopped your sin and ask Him to increase you in every good. Say these du’as, marry for the right reason and prepare yourself for marriage with our free marriage courses.
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/articles/general-artices/selected-prophetic-prayers-for-spiritual-physical-and-emotional-wellbeing-by-chaplain-ibrahim-long/

Turn to Allah with supplication before dawn, and ask Him to help you satisfy your wife. Do what you can medically and leave the rest up to Allah. Give regularly in charity and be the best Muslim that you can be, until then. May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.