What Should I Do After Failing to Hold a Proper Behaviour With My Friend’s Wife?

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Assalam alaykum,

Sometime ago a friend left to go overseas and he left behind his family and he asked me to check on them every now and then. Then my friend gave his wife 1 divorce. He then suggested that I should possibly consider marrying her. This sparked conversations with his wife and led to things that should never have happened in her waiting period.

I am fearing now that there is no hope for me I never thought I could do something like this. I really don’t know what to do now.

Should I tell him and ask for forgiveness? Also are they considered to be under the ruling of married in that waiting period?

Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.

Yes, she is still considered to be his wife during the waiting period (`idda).

You made a mistake, but the doors of repentance and returning to Allah are open, especially during these blessed days and nights of Ramadan. And be optimistic about the Infinite Mercy of Allah.

The conditions for a valid repentance are three: to leave the sin– so you should immediately break off communication with the woman, to remorse over having committed the sin, and to resolve never to return to it.

Allah Most High says, “Say, ‘[God says], My servants who have harmed yourselves by your own excess, do not despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” [39.53]

It is also from the sunna to pray the Prayer of Repentance (salat al-tawba). [see: Prayer of Repentance: Salat al-Tawba]

See also: A Reader on Tawba (Repentance) and: Is it Prohibited to Marry Someone Guilty of Adultery/Fornication?

And Allah alone gives success.

Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani