Can a Father Share a Bed With His Ten Year Old Daughter?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question

Can a father share a bed with his 10-year-old daughter? When does this become inappropriate?

Answer

No, a father should not share a bed with his daughter of that age. Girls can legally reach puberty at the age of nine, and there is an explicit hadith about children that states: “…and separate their beds.” (Abu Dawud) This indicates that around this age children should have their separate beds.

Even when sharing a bed with an adult male, separate blankets are required. [Nahlawi, al-Durar al-Mubaha] Therefore, it would not be appropriate for a father to sleep in the same bed as his daughter.

However, it should be noted that displays of parental love and affection should continue. Holding your daughter’s hand, kissing her on the forehead, etc., are all important for the development of this child and go a long way in developing healthy modesty in her.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology whilst studying for a degree in English and History. After graduating, He traveled to Damascus and studied Arabic, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, and Logic with Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, and others. He then moved to Amman to continue his studies in those fields, as well as in Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His teachers include Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, and others.