Who Will Take Care of My Parents If I Marry?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I get really worried thinking about what’s next in life. I am soon to be married. We are two children to my parents, my elder brother, and myself. My brother is married and does not assume responsibility. My father had to help him build his house upstairs and my brother has done nothing to complete his house after moving in.
If I am married I will be far from my parents. What if something happens to them? Who will look after them? If one of them dies, who will look after the other?
I never want my parents to lack anything in life and feel lonely. I love them so much. My brother will not look after them well and my sister-in-law can barely take care of herself.
Answer
Do not stay single
Thank you for your question. Please don’t think that you should not get married. Giving up your right to marry would make your parents more miserable because you would not have a family of your own.
Also, marriage completes your religion and you would be denying yourself your right to fulfill your desires which can eventually consume a person.
Marry in order to help your parents
Remember that you must marry in order to take care of your parents better. Your husband and children will help you to do so. As it is you are a single person who cannot depend on her brother, but you also can’t do it by yourself.
Your parents may seem old to you now, but wait another 10-15 years when they are much older and will need you. Then you will have better finances and teenagers that can help them along with you. A team is much better than one person.
Your brother
Have a little more trust and confidence in your brother. It is true that he may not have displayed much responsibility until now, but you might be pleasantly surprised. A man is able to step up when it is needed and his wife could too.
Age, wisdom, and maturity will come. If they have children, they live so close that they can help out easily and then there will be two teams of people to help the parents. Have a long-term vision instead of a short-term one and plan to help yourself help them.
Most of all, trust in Allah because he abandons no sincere servant and with Him is a great reward.
Marriage & Obedience to Parents
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
