What Should I Do about My Ex-boyfriend Blackmailing Me?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I committed zina with my boyfriend. By Allah’s mercy, I changed and repented for what I did in the past. I broke up with him and told him that I will marry the man of my parents’ choice so he started blackmailing me. He threatened to disclose our zina to everyone I know if I don’t marry him. What should I do?
Answer
Thank you for your question. It is unlawful (haram) for him to blackmail you like this and I am sorry that you are going through this distress. I pray that he comes to his senses and just walks away.
Unfortunately, there is not much that you can do. The matter is in his hands to speak up or not. The only thing you can do is ignore him and insist that you will never marry him and tell him that you are not afraid of him. Tell him that he is incurring Allah’s displeasure like this and he should leave the past where it is.
Blackmailers have just one goal, and that is to instill fear in you so that they can manipulate you to satisfy their selfish quests. You must never give in to him because he has proved that he is not husband-material and that he wants to control you through fear. This is the lowest that a man can go and you could never marry a man with such character.
Do your best to fulfill your obligations as a Muslim, pray on time, pay zakat on time, give in charity, read some Qur’an every day, and wear hijab correctly.
Here are some duas to say during this stressful time.
Finally, if he does happen to tell everyone about your zina, it is obligatory for you to deny it because Allah had concealed your sin and no one has the right to divulge it. Use indirect words to claim your innocence if you can. See this link:
Can We Deny Having Committed Sins After We’ve Repented From Them?
Is It Permissible to Lie In Order to Conceal Past Sins?
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
