Is There Such a Thing as Islamic Dating? – Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Is there such a thing as Islamic dating while there is ijma` from scholars that dating in our time isn’t good, to say the least? If a person was to date someone but doesn’t commit zina, would the least that can be said is that it’s Makrooh Tahriman to do this? Can one date for marriage?
This term is used by Orthodox Jews and they can agree with Muslims to say dating in our time isn’t good and leads to sin. Can Muslims use terms like I am in a relationship, or I am taken, and this is my partner when they are looking for marriage and they met a potential candidate for marriage and they’ve met a few times and gotten to know them in a halal manner?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Going on a date is not permissible in Islam according to its definition in the Cambridge dictionary: ‘Date: a person you have a romantic meeting with’. I don’t believe there can be anything called Islamic Dating.
Marriage
Marriage is a solemn covenant in Islam [Quran, 4:21] and the process to achieve it should be treated as such. A suitor is a man who proposes marriage to a girl after getting (or not getting to know) her. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) encouraged men to look at a girl before proposing to her and he gave valuable advice when choosing a spouse, such as choosing a loving, fertile girl, and choosing a girl for beauty, wealth, ancestry, but mostly for piety. [see hadiths in links below]
Can a Man Look at the Body of His Potential Spouse?
Important Traits to Look for in a Prospective Spouse
Dating
Dating a girl, even if not being physical with her, is still haram, as they may not be alone together repeatedly (even once). Getting to know someone for marriage, in a halal manner does not mean they are in a relationship. I believe using terms like “I am in a relationship, I am taken, or, this is my partner“ doesn’t apply here. One is simply “considering a potential suitor for marriage“.
Gender Interaction
A God-fearing person should
– follow the rules of gender interaction always
– follow the etiquette of getting to know someone for marriage,
– never be alone with her
– follow the etiquette of proposing to a girl’s father or guardian
– and pray istikhara all the while.
– and do one’s utmost not to get emotionally attached
Please see these links as well:
A Reader On Gender Interaction
How Long Is It Permissible To Date a Person Before the Nikah?
How Can I Get To Know a Young Lady for Marriage When Gender Interaction Rules Are So Strict?
What the Qur’an says about dating
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
