Is It Sinful to Backbite Accidentally?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I’ve heard a hadith that saying thoughtless things can lead a person down the path to hell and also a hadith where someone accidentally calls Allah Most High his slave, but it was ok since it was a slip of the tongue. If, for example, someone is backbiting and without thinking and like a reflex, I also say something that may be bad, would I be sinful?

Answer

Thank you for your question. Yes, if you were listening to backbiting, which is a sin in itself, and then added to it, you would be sinful.

Backbiting (Ghiba)

It says in the Reliance of the Traveller:

r2.1 (Nawawi:) Slander and talebearing are two of the ugliest and most frequently met with qualities among men, few people being safe from them. I have begun with them because of the widespread need to warn people of them.

Slander

r2.2 Slander (ghiba) means to mention anything concerning a person that he would dislike, whether about his body, religion, everyday life, self, disposition, property, son, father, wife, servant, turban, garment, gait, movements, smiling, dissoluteness, frowning, cheerfulness, or anything else connected with him. […]

r2.5 Allah Most High says:

(1) “Do not slander one another” [Quran, 49:12]

(2) “Woe to whomever disparages others behind their back or to their face”

[Quran 104:1]

r2.6 The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

(1) “The talebearer will not enter paradise.”

(2) “Do you know what slander is?” They answered, “Allah and His messenger know best.” He said, “It is to mention of your brother that which he would dislike.” Someone asked, “What if he is as I say?” And he replied, “If he is as you say, you have slandered him, and if not, you, have calumniated him.”

(3) “The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim. He does not betray him, lie to him, or hang back from coming to his aid. All of the Muslim is inviolable to his fellow Muslim: his reputation, his property, his blood. Godfearingness is here [N: pointing to his heart]. It is sufficiently wicked for someone to belittle his fellow Muslim.”

Listening to Slander

r2.11 Just as slander is unlawful for the one who says it, it is also unlawful for the person hearing it to listen and acquiesce to. It is obligatory whenever one hears someone begin to slander another to tell him to stop if this does not entail manifest harm to one. If it does, then one is obliged to condemn it in one’s heart and to leave the company if able. When the person who hears it is able to condemn it in words or change the subject, then he must. It is a sin for him not to. But if the hearer tells the slanderer to be silent while desiring him in his heart to continue, this, as Ghazali notes, is hypocrisy that does not lift the sin from him, for one must dislike it in one’s heart.

r2.12 Whenever one is forced to remain at a gathering where there is slander and one is unable to condemn it, or one’s condemnation goes unheeded, and one cannot leave, it is nevertheless unlawful to listen or pay attention to. What one should do is invoke Allah (dhikr) with the tongue and heart, or heart alone, or think about something else to distract one from listening to it. When this is done, whatever one hears under such circumstances does not harm one as long as one does not listen to or heed the conversation. And if afterwards, one is able to leave the assembly and the people are persisting in slander and the like, then one must leave.

Allah Most High says: “When you see those engaged in idle discussion about Our signs, keep apart from them until they speak of other things. And if the Devil makes you forget, then do not sit with wrong-doing people after being reminded” [Quran, 6:68]

Train yourself

Please start training yourself to eliminate slander from your life. Start with gaining Islamic knowledge, and applying what you learn. Catch yourself before you speak, note your triggers, note whose company you usually slander in, and repent if you slip. Seek Allah’s help to purify your speech, and think before you speak, and you will surely see a transformation in your life, by His grace. Saying something as a reflex is just a sign that you need to break your harmful habits.

Please see these links as well:

What is Ghiba (Slander)?
What Constitutes as Slander, Backbiting and How to Avoid It?

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.