Is It My Duty to Distance Myself From My Friend Who Committed Zina?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: By accident, I found out that my close unmarried friend was having intercourse. I confronted her about the sin, to which she nervously denied. Do I still continue to be friends with her, or is it my duty to disassociate from her influence?
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for seeking out clarity on this issue.
Friendship
Narrated Jarir bin `Abdullah: Allah’s Messenger (upon him be blessings and peace) said, “Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind.” [Bukhari]
As your friend has fallen into zina, I urge that you approach her from place of sincere concern, and not one of judgement. Ask yourself what you would like from a friend, if you were in her situation. Falling into major sin does not happen overnight. It is often a slow progression resulting from increasing distance from Allah.
If you feel that your presence in her life will remind her of Allah and give her hope in His Mercy, then please stay friends with her. If you feel that she is negatively impacting your relationship with Allah, then distance yourself from her. Weigh the pros and cons. Be honest with yourself.
Istikhara
If you are unsure about how to proceed, please perform The Prayer of Guidance and ask Allah to guide you to what is best. Watch how events unfold in your life. If it becomes difficult to maintain a friendship with her, then that is better for you. If it becomes easier to maintain a friendship with her, then that is better for you.
Time
If you choose to stay friends with her, please give your friend time to make good on her Islam. Support her in acts of khayr e.g. encourage her to join you in attending Islamic classes and other places of good, break fast at each other’s homes during Ramadan etc. Do what you can to support her, while guarding your own acts of worship. Do your best while remembering that only Allah can guide.
Dua
I encourage you to make dua for your friend, even if you choose to end your friendship.
I pray that Allah guides her, protects you, and reunites you both in Jannah.
Please refer to the following links:
How Can I Help Non-Practising Family and Friends?
I Committed Sexual Misdeeds: What Must I Do to Repent?
Wassalam,
Raidah
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
