I Envy Someone a Lot. What Can I Do?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Assalam aleykum,
A girl I know has everything that I want, and I’m tired of making dua for her 20-30 times a day each time I think of her. I envy her. What do I do? My faith is at an all-time low and I feel so scared and helpless.
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. Please forgive me for the delay.
Envy
Dear sister, it sounds like envy is eating you alive. Instead of looking outside of yourself, I encourage you to look inwards, and to Allah.
Support
Do you have close friends and family to can reach out to?
I encourage you to seek out a culturally-sensitive counsellor. If you cannot find one, then please read up on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and find a coach.
Your pain is real. You still have a choice: continue in this state, or do something to change it. Please learn how to change the way you speak to yourself, and the way you view your world.
Solution
1) Wake up in the last third of the night, even if it’s 15 minutes before the entry of Fajr, and perform the Prayer of Need. Ask Allah for whatever you wish.
2) Give small, regular charity, and ask Allah to increase your provision.
3 Read Surah Al-Waqiah with the intention of increasing your provision.
4) Please listen to this podcast: Green with Envy? (30 Deeds, 30 Days), by Shaykh Walead Mosaad
5) Please listen to podcasts such as Content of Character.
6) Every night, perform Sujud As-Shukr for at least one blessing you already have in your life.
I pray that Allah removes the envy from your heart, replaces it with gratitude, and grants you what is best from this world and the next.
Please see:
A Reader on Thankfulness to Allah and True Gratitude
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.
