Fantacizing About Schoolmates
Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari
Question: Assalam Alaikum. Is it allowed to fantasize about a boy you like in the school?
Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful
Dear Seeker,
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,
Generally, we are not held accountable for our thoughts. It is our actions that will count for us or against us. Nonetheless, it is part of Islamic adab to not entertain thoughts of impermissible actions.
However, given the fact that you are young and probably have not had much exposure to members of the opposite sex, you probably find this young man interesting and even fascinating. In a sense, these feelings can be healthy because they might induce you to consider what sort of person you’d find attractive as a marriage partner.
If anything, try to direct your thoughts and feelings in productive ways. Ask yourself why you find this person more interesting than others. Also consider how these fantasies are affecting your spiritual and psychosocial well-being. For example, are you still diligent about praying? Are you still functioning productively?
Finally, ask yourself if you are ready for marriage. Although we live in a culture that encourages people to put marriage off until almost midlife, it is important to respect the feelings you’re experiencing and perhaps begin to lay the ground for life as a married adult.
May Allah reward you,
Zaynab Ansari
Related Answers:
Getting Therapy for Irreligious Thoughts
Are We Held Accountable for Mere Thoughts of Sinning if We Don’t Act on Our Thoughts?
